I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
