i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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