I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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