very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
