the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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