Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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