Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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