hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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