dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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