I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
