i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
