Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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