Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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