If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
