Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
