Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
