Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
