if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
