she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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