My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I bet he comes in French.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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