i just made my gag reflex go away.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
