He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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