i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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