nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
