Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
