Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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