I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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