Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
