He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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