I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
North Korea, Best Korea!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
