Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
