I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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