He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
