all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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