btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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