I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
