Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
