I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
