Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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