STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Houston, we have a squirter
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
