M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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