Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
