No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
