i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
