And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
