i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
do herpes really smell.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
