She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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