Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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