I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
