he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
