Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
