turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
