She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
