yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
