hell yes lets make some ravioli
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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