Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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