cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
